I just returned home from meeting a couple girlfriends for coffee. It was just what my soul needed. Life's not been easy lately, and I have been longing for time to just chat, vent, and sort through life- all with women who seek God's voice in their lives daily. I don't know about you, but I need that in my life. When I can't look outside myself and the things going on in my life, it's good to have another perspective. Someone to help bring you back to the truth in God's word and voice.
When we were talking I mentioned that I was just worn. tired. done worrying and thinking about it all the time. done. discouraged.
I tend to go into things with a Godly perspective, seeking his voice and direction. And somewhere along the way, I often feel like I'm not getting answers or peace. At least as soon as I want it. Then I get discouraged, worn down, the whole list above.
I go from being in a place of praying without ceasing, knowing that looking to Him is the only way, expectant of what He is going to do and say.
To a place of I don't know what to pray anymore. I don't know what else to tell you God that I already haven't. You know my heart, I'm out of words.
My prayers go from passionate, ongoing conversation, listening to Him, telling Him my heart; to, "Hey God. I could pray for the same thing I've been looking for your voice and peace in, but I don't hear you telling me anything, so...you know my heart. You know what I am torn with. Just help okay? Amen."
But then something small happened. A tiny little glimmer of hope. The kind of hope that doesn't change anything about my situation, but the kind that lifts my heart a little. The kind of hope that helps me see things from a little bit of a different perspective. Hope that helps me not to be so discouraged, worn, and tired. So I feel like there may be an approaching light at the end of the tunnel.
For some reason I switched the radio to the Jesus station. I don't like listening to the Jesus station. Don't get me wrong, I love Jesus more than anything, but the station- not so much. A song came on that I knew from a long time ago, so I started to sing along.
But before too long, I couldn't sing. My voice was wavering, tears began to fill my eyes. God was speaking to my heart straight through the words of that old song on the annoying radio station.
"Weary brother, broken daughter, widowed lover you're not alone.
If you're tired and scared of the madness around you
If you can't find the strength to carry on...
When you call on Jesus, all things are possible...
when you call on Jesus, mountains are gonna fall
'cause He'll move heaven and earth to come rescue you..."
(I was in a puddle of tears by now)
but it got better...
"When your heart is broken, and you feel discouraged,
you can just remember that He said, He'll be there."
That was me. weary. broken. discouraged.
All those things I had just been talking about at the coffee shop.
I guess I have just been too stubborn, or closed off from Jesus' voice that he had to use that old song on the annoying station to get my attention.
I'm here Andrea. Just like I've always been.
Even when you don't think you can feel me or hear me- I'm here.
I needed that reminder. It came at the perfect time.
I didn't get an earth shattering word from God. I didn't get all my answers. I didn't really need that. It was just enough to be reminded that He's here, walking this road with me. Feeling my pain and hurt, discouragement and weariness.
It's good enough for me to know that even when life...happens, and it's not going to be perfect,
that at the very least He's going to walk through it with me every step of the way. Because He loves me.
And that's true for you too.
"You are my dearly loved Son, and you bring me great joy." Mark 1:11
"I will never fail you. I will never abandon you." Hebrews 13:5
"'For I know the plans I have for you. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you,' says the Lord." Jeremiah 29:11-14
That's all I needed to help me get through my day.
It was just enough
He is just enough