October 14, 2011

Grace for the Good Girl

This is the book I'm going to read while I'm on a break from school. In just the little bits I've read from it already, it has spoken to my heart. 

I first found out about it from fellow blogger Paige at Simple Thoughts. Her love and life in Jesus just exudes from the pages of her blog. She inspires me daily. Recently she wrote a post about this book. You can read her thoughts on it here. The snippets of Emily's book that she included were spoken straight to my heart. Here are a few: 

"you are not responsible to have it all together.
you are free to respond to the One who holds all things in His hands".

emily p. freeman

"I have spent most of my life avoiding weak. 
I don't want to look weak, act weak, or even give the hint that i am capable of weakness.
but if you are feeling weak?  Well, now.
That's a different thing all together. I can tell you how weakness is the door
to strength and how Jesus calls us to a life of weakness so that he can be strong.
and I believe it. 
for you."
Emily P. Freeman
Wow. That last one really punches me in the gut. 
After Isaac passed, I just wanted to forget everything. I was tired of crying. I was tired of being sad, I was tired of missing him. I was tired of people looking at me, feeling sorry for me. 
I wanted to get it all together, so I could get back to being me. I didn't want people to see me cry, so I didn't, I was stronger than that. I could get myself through this. I was a strong Christian, I could dig myself out of this pit. I thought if I just didn't think about it, it would be gone. As you can imagine, that didn't do me much good. I wasn't grieving, so that just made things down the road even worse.  
When I began to struggle, I felt like I had been treading water for months, and my legs could no longer keep me afloat.  
I was sinking
I felt so defeated, because I had been trying so hard to get better, to get back to any semblance of normalcy. I was fighting. I felt like I was under such spiritual attack. I would sit and read my Bible for hours on end, why wasn't this working?  
I was doing everything I knew to do
But that's the thing. So many of us strive, and try so hard, but sometimes we can barely keep out heads above water. We don't have to try so hard. We need to give ourselves some grace, and put it all in the hands of our creator. It reminds me of my favorite quote from my friend Mike Breen I am always having to remind myself:
I am a human BEING 
not a human DOING.
We need to give ourselves a break & realize we can't do it all, we can't be it all, and sometimes, life just isn't going to go back to "normal". 
I feel like Emily has captured some of the very thoughts, and feelings of my heart that I just couldn't put into words. I'm sure a lot of you might be thinking the same thing. I am so excited to read on & continue to find strength from her words & the talent God has given her. 
Check out Emily's blog "Chatting at the Sky". You can even read a chapter of her book there, and watch a short video of her explaining her heart that is in this book. 
Here's to putting away the "good girl" persona and letting our souls breathe.

No comments:

Post a Comment

I love to get your comments!